Self-care: It isn’t just a fad
We live in this modern-day world, where it can feel like the message of the universe is do as much as you can, for everyone you can. Then, only when you reach the pinnacle of success, according to the world’s standards, could you stop to enjoy it, but only long enough to make a new list of responsibilities.
It is exhausting to try and do it all and be everything to everyone. And the truth, is that at the end of the day, none of us will ever be perfect, and sometimes it’s the unchecked boxes that can leave us feeling less than.
Most people are always on the go, trying to finish endless to-do lists, working to meet everyone else’s needs and never letting themselves stop, and take a moment, to care for themselves.
Why are we so willing to push ourselves to exhaustion? And more importantly, to the brink of insanity? And yet, we feel guilty any time we think of doing something to care for ourselves?
Because, most of us, get the very misinformed message that taking care of yourself, or making yourself a priority, is selfish.
Nothing could be further from the truth—Self-care is about survival, and more importantly, self-care is a crucial step in learning to love yourself, protect your sanity, and give yourself the time, effort, and attention you so desperately deserve.
“An empty lantern provides no light. Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly.” -Unknown
If you are employed, you probably work your tail off to do everything that’s asked of you and rise to the occasion in your job. If you are a parent, your list of obligations never ends, because you are always responsible for the care, well-being, and security of your children. If you are in a relationship, odds are you think about their needs first, and are content with hoping yours get met along the way.
It can be beautiful to see the selflessness so many in this world demonstrate. There are, luckily, so many individuals, who love others unconditionally, give to humanity endlessly, without any consideration of their own needs, and who work, tirelessly, to ensure everyone they care about gets taken care of.
But at the end of the day, the truth is, it is our responsibility to care for ourselves. We can’t be everything we want and work to be, to our families, to our friends, to our careers, and even in our lives, if we don’t give ourselves the opportunity for self-care.
So, what is self-care?
Lately, it seems like the term gets tossed around like a new trend. “Self-care”. Most of us have heard the phrase, but dismissed it as something of a fad. But self-care can be one of the most important concepts to understand, and work to implement in our lives.
Self-care, can be everything and anything, that you do, that gives you the much needed and deserved chance, to stop, listen to your own emotions, and understand your needs. It’s about learning that, and then giving yourself that chance to be reminded that you matter, your needs count, and you deserve the consideration. That concept, that practice… is the most unselfish act of self-love you can take on.
How do you work to include self-care into your life?
The beautiful thing here, is that in a world of crazy obligations, and unyielding expectations, you cannot screw this up. The only requirement for self-care, is figuring out what it is that helps you connect to yourself, connect to your soul, and care for your own needs. It’s learning what to do, in order to feel better, more fulfilled, and more accepting and loving towards yourself, for giving yourself that time and that opportunity.
“Self-care means giving the world the best of you, instead of what is left of you.” – Katie Reed
It can be unique for everyone, and the list can be as long as you like. Give yourself a chance to really get to know you—what inspires you? What excites you? What calms you? Makes you smile? What has you laughing? Crying happy tears? Feeling important? Feeling recharged? Feeling beautiful? Feeling valued?
Self-care, at its core, is about getting in touch with yourself, learning who you are, and most importantly, what you need to keep being the amazing individual that you are.
Start small, and build from there, but make it a habit There are so many people out there, already feeling like they have too much on their plate. Self-care isn’t meant to be about adding more responsibilities and obligations onto your list, it is honoring yourself enough, to give you what you need.
It can start with five minutes a day. Maybe it is time to reflect and meditate? Start off the day with some deep breathing and positive affirmations. Maybe it’s the chance to reach out to a friend or family member for support? Even letting yourself acknowledge that you need another can be a huge step in self-care.
Maybe it’s finding a way to de-stress? It can be as simple as a few minutes of yoga, a walk around the block, some exercise, or even stretching, because caring for your body, is caring for yourself. Sometimes, it can be the bubble bath, glass of wine, or good book to relax. Maybe it’s time with friends, playing with the kids or grand kids? It can be anything that recharges your body, your mind, and your soul.
Maybe, it’s doing absolutely nothing, and doing it guilt-free, because that is what you need. There is no generic prescription…because you are unique, and you are the only one that can tell you what you need.
“Self-care is never a selfish act. It is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on this earth to offer to others.” -Parker Palmer
Giving to yourself, lets you become ever more of the incredible person you already are. It is anything but selfish, when you acknowledge that you count too.
Sometimes it has to go deeper, to help you at your core There are times, that the most important kinds of self-care, come from being painfully honest, about what it is the causes you hurt and pain in your lives.
Maybe, during these times, self-care comes in the form of working to remove toxic people and situations from our lives. If there is someone, who is constantly tearing you down, making you feel less than, unsafe, or unloved…self-care can be about loving yourself enough to recognize you deserve more.
Sometimes, it’s even understanding that we ourselves have been the ones causing our own pain, through our words or our actions and choices. If that is the case, once we see that we our taking from, rather than giving to ourselves, it can give us this beautiful opportunity, to begin to care for and nurture our well-being, rather than be part of what holds it prisoner.
You teach others your own value, when you value yourself
You are worthy of the time and effort that comes from true self-care—always. But there can be another valuable lesson to learning the importance of understanding and practicing self-care.
Sometimes, the world has a funny way of learning to build its own expectations of how to treat one another, based on how that individual treats themselves. If you don’t seem to feel you are worth more, than it can become painfully easy for someone else to see that as well, and act accordingly.
“Taking care of myself doesn’t mean “me first”, it means “me too”. -L.R. Knost
The truth, is that when we recognize our own worth, and demonstrate our individual value, through the practice of caring for ourselves, in any way…we show the world that we matter, and that we expect and deserve to be treated with respect by others.
The countless positive outcomes of self-care
Self-care may have become a more popular phrase lately, but it is anything but a fad. It is one of the most important acts we can take upon in our lives, and work to make a daily practice. There is so much positive to be gained from learning to take care and honor yourself.
For one, we model to our children, that it is never wrong to take care of yourself, allow yourself time, consideration, and most importantly, love. If we can learn to make self-care an integral part of our lives, we can raise generations of children, who know that they are worthy, and understand the importance of being honest and loving with themselves, helping them become strong, caring, and compassionate individuals.
We teach others that it is not only a crucial step for self-acceptance and healthy well-being, when we can take care of ourselves, but that it helps us to be the very best person we can. When we give to ourselves, whether it is small acts of kindness, daily practices that allow us to de-stress, or the deeper work of learning how to remove toxicity from our lives, we begin to shift not only our minds, but our hearts and souls.
When we take on the journey of self-love, we can then see our own worth, the worth of others, and value in replacing fear with courage, limitations with possibilities, and pain with love. And that, well, that could make this world everything we all deserve for it to be.
Love yourself, and care for yourself, and both you and the world will be a better for it.
Love and light to all!